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i should start having a decent writing schedule everyday. like, pound myself, misery style to be able to write and finish the neager 32 chapters. it's not that long. i just lack the dedication. 

Mar. 9th, 2013

decided to come back to my writing journal home. welcome back. finally starting my draft for my first short story. it's driving me totally insane. and in between, i am writing the usual emo shit. This project should be done by mid april. will draft a writing schedule. dead serious. 
let me write about all these things that will never be
I can see us in the house that we love. The minimalist theme we always talked about.
we won't have a comfy bed and drapes- cause you love to sleep on the floor and we'd lay there with some comfy cloth. 
we'd have lots of vinyl records and we'd play them while you drink your coffee and i down my tea.
You'd fix the laundry and the closet, cause you are so compulsive and i would tease you about it. 
On days that we don't have anything to do, i'd grab you and we'd head over to the Planetarium and get lost in the stars. 
On lazy evening we will talk about world conspiracies and debate about religion, mayan civilization and free masons.
All those movies that we love, we'll have them in a neat shelf.
I would watch movies with you and we would be wannabee critics and break everything apart.
Our house will be filled with all the music that we love ; You'd play the guitar and i will sing you songs that i've all dedicated to you at some point in my life. 
You'll watch those american tv shows while i watch youtube people live their life.
I'd bore you with my social networks and you'd kiss me to make me realize being with you is better.
On sundays, you'd cook us lunch and i will lament the fact that i can't. You will laugh and tell me you will teach me. 
When you are tired from work, i'd let you lie on the couch and i will read you the books that i love.
I will quote everything for you and soothe you as much as I can. 
When you wake up every 3am, i'd be there for you and pull you close. no one is watching, I am here. I'll keep you safe.
I will buy that house in the cold side of the country that you love. 
we will see the world together and you'd take pictures and post them on our walls.
We would prove them all wrong with what they say.
I'd get your mom to accept us and like me. I would love your family as much as you do.
You'd charm my parents and they'd love you more than me.
I can see it so clearly, how we'd live our life together. 
I am writing this down, atleast in this way it came true. 
The reality is - you are not with me right now and you will never be, 
Right now, you're with the one you love at some restaurant downtown telling her how much you love her.
and here I am, writing all these dreams and wishing on every damn star that this would come true. 


His name is V and I met him one evening across a green room. 
The smile, that smile- I knew it'd be the death of me but i couldn't stay away. 
Thank you for that evening, for the laughs and that unbelievable high of knowing you.
Thank you for the days i knew waking up was worth it cause you would be there for me.
For being my 24/7 and breaking my heart on your will. 
Take me apart all over again and i still run back to you.
You tell me you are my sleeping pill but i beg to disagree,
you make me want to quit this slumber cause staying awake and being with you is so much better. 
I finally understand what they meant when they said one person can be your world.
Right now, it all makes sense because right now i'm caught in your orbit and i am helplessly spinning round you. 
and i can never tell you how much you mean to me, afraid that i'd lose what we have.
I'd have to lie everyday just you have you a little bit longer.
Oh, i cannot wait to get over you. Can't wait to have these feelings turn down, just one notch.
to whoever is listening please send me anyone who will keep me even a feet away from him.
I am so tired of keeping up, i don't even have the courage to stand up.
Cause you ruined all the other boys for me.
I cannot look away anymore, cause i'm tied to you with some irritating red thread.
Have the decency to let me go,
Have the kindness to give me away and stay away from me.
Break me for the last time to save me from a heartache much worst than this. 
Tell me you need the space and we should end this cause i am not that strong. 
Leave me. Please leave me. I cannot handle this anymore. 
I have to fight the urge to look at you and say something stupid like : "your eyes are so brown".
Because they are. everything about you is all sharp edges and contrast on the full.
I see you so clearly it scares me,
I feel you and know you so well that i find myself seeing you in every corner. 
You say i should get used to this. 
That I am a part of you --
How can you say this things and still not choose me?
How can you spend all these countless hours and seconds and break me time and time again. 
and how, i ask myself every night do i cling to you?
I was never used to someone like you. all the random acts that all build up to a lie of you and I. 
and now i write of words i can never tell you. 
This farce will continue, cause you are the best thing in my life right now. 
You've got me used to late-night talks and early morning heart-skips.
I wait for you, in bated breath.
Break me and come back to me. Darling, Here's the blade, cut me all you want. 

i will always come back to this place, to spill out my feelings.
whenever i am on livejournal, i just feel like i have magic on my fingertips.
I feel like, my dreams and all the words in my head will make sense.
welcome back to me. 

YES. HEROES IS BACK

Title: HEROES Season 3 {6/8}
Pairing: Onewx Key ; Taemin x Minho ; Jonghyun x OC
Rating: PG-15
Summary: With the Battle of the island done, our Heroes are faced with troubled times and decisions that will decide that fate of many. A quest to find the answer to bring down the resistance is underway and all must keep their loyalty in check to be victorious. But with Key losing his memory, Onew battling his inner demons and the covenant falling into pieces will they ever find a way to save the earth?


Previous Chapters

season three:

(01)  (02) (03) (04)(05)


season two:
(01) (02) (03) (04)  (05)  (06)  (07)  (08) (09) (10)




season one
(01);  (02)  (03 ) (04 ) (05)  (06)  (07)  (08)


Read more...Collapse )

Tastes like Sugar 2/?

Tastes like Sugar
Pairing: Taemin x Minho (Shinee)
Genre: Romance, Drama and a bit of comedy
Rating : PG15 to NC17
Summary: Taemin took the high road and abandoned his college opportunity for a 2 year course on dance. Now he is a back up for the stars, waiting for his turn to rise and be noticed. But with this parents abandoning him and his bills piling up, he needs someone to help him out. Enter Choi Minho, a well-known Producer comes and gives him an offer he can’t refuse. Feelings develop and things get complicated. Basically, the 2MIN Sugar daddy fic.
Notes: Minho is 7 years his senior. Place of setting for this story is a fictional Hollywood.


Chapter II
Leaving and Walking on your own


It’s been two days since Minho and I talked about this business arrangement. Yeah right, I’ve been calling it that for some time now. Maybe if I repeat that over and over, then it might come true. This will be just a professional business. I have moved in to a new flat, it’s not really that hard cause I barely have furniture. Key asked me how and I explained it as much as I could. I tired to sugar coat it, even with hongki, Nicole and worst, jonghyun .
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BAD NEWS, TASTES LIKE SUGAR UPDATE WILL BE JULY 9. real life is being a bitch. 
Tastes like Sugar
Pairing: Taemin x Minho (Shinee)
Genre: Romance, Drama and a bit of comedy
Rating : PG15 to NC17
Summary: Taemin took the high road and abandoned his college opportunity for a 2 year course on dance. Now he is a back up for the stars, waiting for his turn to rise and be noticed. But with this parents abandoning him and his bills piling up, he needs someone to help him out. Enter Choi Minho, a well-known Producer comes and gives him an offer he can’t refuse. Feelings develop and things get complicated. Basically, the 2MIN Sugar daddy fic.
Notes: Minho is 7 years his senior. NOT EXACTLY a sugar daddy, but.  Place of setting for this story is a fictional Hollywood.

Read more...Collapse )

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